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BDSM is a complex acronym derived from the terms bondage and discipline (B&D, B/D, or BD), dominance and submission (D&S, D/S, or DS),
sadism and masochism (S&M, S/M, or SM). BDSM includes a wide spectrum of activities and forms of interpersonal relationships. While
not always overtly sexual in nature, the activities and relationships within a BDSM context are almost always eroticized by the
participants in some fashion. Many of these practices fall outside of commonly held social norms regarding sexuality and human
relationships.
Many activities can be found under the umbrella of BDSM, which include - but are not limited to - forms of dominance, submission,
discipline, punishment, bondage, sexual roleplaying, sexual fetishism, sadomasochism, and power exchange, as well as the full
spectrum of mainstream personal and sexual interactions.
An important distinction is that BDSM is not a form of sexual abuse - although some BDSM activities may appear to be violent or
coercive, such activities are conducted with the consent of all partners involved. BDSM relationships and practices are exercised
under the philosophy of "safe, sane and consensual" (SSC), or the somewhat more permissive philosophy of "risk-aware consensual
kink" (RACK).
Activities and relationships within a BDSM context are characterized by the fact that the participants usually take on complementary,
but unequal, roles. Typically, participants who are active - applying the activity or exercising control over others - are known as
tops or Dominants. Those participants who are recipients of the activities, or who are controlled by their partners, are typically
known as bottoms or submissives. Individuals who move between top/dominant roles and bottom/submissive roles - either periodically
within a relationship, or from relationship to relationship - are known as S/switches.
BDSM is often practiced within the context of a limited and defined encounter known as a BDSM scene. Such scenes often have ritualistic
aspects, complete with modes of behavior, forms of address, codes of conduct, dress codes, and many other aspects of theater and role
playing. As such encounters are often - but not always - at least partly sexual in nature, people outside of BDSM have a tendency to
view it as a form of "kinky sex".
Some participants incorporate aspects of BDSM into their everyday relationship(s) with their partner(s), especially those who practice
dominance and submission or power exchange (especially Total Power Exchange). For these individuals, BDSM is part of their lifestyle
and in some discussions is referred to as "The Lifestyle".
BDSM typically involves one partner voluntarily giving up control. The submissive partner gives control to the dominant partner in a
ritualized interaction known as power exchange. The dominant partner is referred to as the "Dom", "Domme", "Dominant", "Top" "Master"
or "Mistress" and the submissive partner is called "sub", "submissive", "bottom" or "slave". In accordance with the commonly-used
nomenclature in issue-related discussions among the practitioners, this article will use the terms Top and bottom to describe the
particular role-playing partner.
BDSM actions often take place during a specific period of time agreed to by both parties, referred to as "play," "a scene" or "a
session." All parties involved usually derive pleasure from this, even though many of the practices that are performed, such as
inflicting pain, humiliation or being restrained would be considered unpleasant under normal circumstances. Sexual intercourse, be
it oral, anal or vaginal, may occur within a session, but is not essential.
The fundamental principles for the exercise of BDSM require that it should be performed by mature and responsible partners, of their
own volition, and in a safe way. Since the 1980s these basic principles have been condensed into the motto "Safe, sane and consensual",
abbreviated as SSC, which means that everything is based on safe, sane and consenting behavior of all involved parties. This mutual
consent makes a clear legal and ethical distinction between BDSM and crimes such as sexual assault or domestic violence.
Some BDSM practitioners prefer a code of behavior that differs from "SSC" and described as "Risk Aware Consensual Kink" (RACK),
indicating a preference of a style in which the individual responsibility of the involved parties is emphasized more strongly, with
each participant being responsible for his or her own well-being. RACK focuses primarily upon awareness and informed consent, rather
than accepted safe practices. Consent is the most important criterion here. The consent and compliance for a sadomasochistic situation
can be granted only by people who are able to judge the potential results. For their consent, they must have all relevant information
at hand and the necessary mental capacity to judge. The resulting consent and understanding is often summarized in a "contract", an
agreement of what can and cannot take place.
In general, it must be possible for the consenting partner to withdraw his or her consent at any given time; for example, by using a
safeword that was agreed on in advance. Failure to honor a safeword is considered the most serious misconduct that can take place in
BDSM and can even change the sexual consent situation into a crime, depending on the relevant law, since the bottom has explicitly
revoked his or her consent to any actions which follow the use of the safeword (see Legal status).
Bondage and Discipline are two aspects of BDSM that do not necessarily relate to one another, but can appear jointly. The term
"Bondage" describes the practice of restraining for pleasure. Bondage is usually, but not always, a sexual practice. While bondage is
a very popular variation within the larger field of BDSM, it is nevertheless sometimes differentiated from the rest of this field.
Studies among BDSM practitioners in the U.S. have shown that about half of all men find the idea of bondage to be erotic; many women
do as well. Strictly speaking, bondage means binding the partner by tying their appendages together; for example, by the use of
handcuffs or by lashing their arms to an object. Bondage can also be achieved by spreading the appendages and fastening them with
chains to a St. Andrews cross or spreader bars.
The term "Discipline" describes the use of rules and punishment to control overt behavior in BDSM. Punishment can be pain caused
physically (such as caning), humiliation caused psychologically (such as a public flagellation) or loss of freedom caused physically
(eg. chaining the Bottom to the foot of a bed). Another aspect is the structured training of the Bottom. Overlap with practices from
the field of bondage can occur, but is not necessarily mandatory. A differentiation between bondage and discipline is sometimes
difficult.
"Dominance and submission" (also known as D&s, Ds or D/s) is a set of behaviors, customs and rituals relating to the giving and
accepting of dominance of one individual over another in an erotic or lifestyle context. It explores the more mental aspect of BDSM.
This is also the case in many relationships not considering themselves as sadomasochistic; it is considered to be a part of BDSM if
it is practiced cognizantly. The range of its individual characteristics is thereby wide.
Examples of mentally orientated practices are education games, during which the dominant requires certain forms of behavior from the
submissive. Special forms include erotic roleplay like ageplay, in which a difference in age, either real or enacted, formulates the
background; or petplay. Concerted deployed sexual rejection exercised on the partner can be an aspect of Dominance and Submission
as well (see cuckoldry). The most established and probably most cliché set form of dominance and submission is dominance and
slavedom. These can be administrated for the short duration of a session among otherwise-emancipated partners, but also can be
integrated into everyday life indefinitely. In a few relationships, it leads as far as total submission of one partner in the
truest sense of the phrase total power exchange. Compensating elements of the total dominance and submission are care and devotion
complementing one another, thus facilitating stable relationships. The consensual submission of the sub is sometimes demonstrated
to others by symbols indicating his/her belonging to the dom, such as wearing a collar, special tattoos, piercings, a very short
haircut or a bald head.
Occasionally, actual "slave contracts" are set out in writing to record the formal consent of the parties to the power exchange,
stating their common vision of the relationship dynamic. Such documents have not been recognised as being legally binding. Contracts
that are contra bonos mores (contrary to public morals) are generally illegal, and such contracts can even be constitutionally
prohibited. In Europe, such agreements may be contrary to Article 3 of the European Convention on Human Rights which grants a
general freedom from "unhuman or degrading treatment". This right had been held to be absolute and no limitations or derogations
are permitted by the Convention. Nevertheless, the mere existence of such purported contracts has resulted in banner headlines in
yellow press publications, and uninformed third parties seeing such information out of context are periodically led to rejecting and
condemning the relationships they describe.
The term "Sadomasochism" is derived from the words "Sadism" and "Masochism" (see Etymology). In the context of consensual sexual
activities, sadism and masochism are not strictly accurate terms; there is a significant difference from the medical or psychological
usage of both terms. Sadomasochism refers to the physical aspects of BDSM. Sadism describes sexual pleasure derived by inflicting
pain, degradation, or humiliation on another person. On the other hand, the masochist enjoys being bound, spanked or suffering
within the consensual scenario. Sadomasochism does not imply enjoyment through causing or receiving pain in other situations (e.g.
accidental injury, medical procedures). Discipline often incorporates sadomasochistic aspects. Sadomasochism is practiced in
isolation relatively rarely, although certain practices BDSM can be performed solo, such as self-bondage and autoerotic asphyxia,
but such practices can be dangerous, at times resulting in injury or death.
On a physical level, BDSM is partly connected to the intentional infliction of physical pain, suffering and other intense sensations.
BDSM practitioners often compare the effects induced by the resulting endorphins to the so-called "runner's high" or to the afterglow
of orgasm. The corresponding trance-like mental state is also known as "subspace" and is regularly described as very comforting.
Some use the term "body stress" to describe this physiological sensation. This experience of algolagnia is important, but is not
the only motivation for many BDSM practitioners. The philosopher Edmund Burke defines this sensation of pleasure derived from
pain by the word sublime. The regions of the brain that manage sexual stimuli and pain overlap, resulting in some individuals
associating pain with sexual pleasure as the neurological reactions are intertwined. A minority of BDSM practitioners take part in
sessions for which they do not receive any personal gratification. They enter such situations solely with the intention to allow
their partners to fulfil their own needs and/or fetishes.
In some BDSM sessions, the Top exposes the Bottom to a wide range of sensual impressions, for example: pinching, biting, scratching
with fingernails, spanking or the use of various objects such as crops, whips, liquid wax, icecubes, Wartenberg wheels, erotic
electrostimulation or others. Fixation by handcuffs, ropes or chains may be used as well. The repertoire of possible "toys" is limited
only by the imagination of both partners. To some extent, everyday items like clothes-pins, wooden spoons or plastic wrap are used as
pervertibles. It is commonly considered that a pleasurable BDSM experience during a session is very strongly dependent upon the top's
competence and experience and the bottom's physical and mental state at the time of the session. Trust and sexual arousal help the
partners enter a shared mindset. Some BDSM practitioners compare related sensations with musical compositions and representation, in
which single sensual impressions are the musical notes of the situation. From this point of view, different sensuous impressions are
combined to create a total experience leaving a lasting impression.
Many BDSM practitioners regard the practice of BDSM in their sex life as sexual roleplaying and therefore speak of "Play" and "Playing".
The execution of such play is termed a "Session", and the contents and the circumstances of the play are often referred to as a "Scene".
The term "Play relations" is used as well, describing two different aspects:
First, the expression is used in usual emancipated relationships, in which BDSM is part of, or foreplay to, sexual activities. If
several relationships with intense emotional connections exist over a longer time, then there can exist an overlap with the practice
of polyamory. Second, the term "play relations" can describe relationships which are based exclusively on the occasional conjoint
realization of sexual fantasies as a common goal and in which no further relationship exists.
In BDSM terminology the partner who has the active (i.e., controlling) role in a session or in the entire relationship is described as
"Top", a role that often involves inflicting pain, degradation or subjection. The partner referred to as "Bottom" or more frequently
as Sub, exposes him- or herself voluntarily to those actions during the session and/or is the passive partner in the connection.
Although the Top habitually is the dominant and the Bottom the submissive partner, it is not inevitably. In some cases the Top follows
instructions, i.e., he "tops" the Bottom according to the Bottom's desires and in a way the Bottom expressly requires. A Top only
having apparent control, while he in reality is conforming the instructions given by the Bottom, is labeled Service Top. Contrasting
with the Service Top is the Dominant Top, controlling his submissive partner by using physical or psychological techniques during
the session or in lifestyle. If desired, the Top can even instruct the submissive partner to exercise temporary control. In Japanese
terms, the Top is called the 'Seme' and the bottom, the 'Uke'.
A similar distinction also may apply to Bottoms. At one end of the spectrum are those who are indifferent to, or even reject, physical
stimulations. At the other end of the range are Bottoms who enjoy physical and psychological stimulations but are not willing to be
subordinate to the person who applies these. The Bottom is frequently the partner who specifies the basic conditions of the session
and gives instructions, directly or indirectly, in the prelude to the session, while the Top often respects this guidance. Other
Bottoms try to control their Top by provoking reactions or "misbehaving" to attract interest. Nevertheless a small, very puristic
"school" exists within the BDSM community, which regards such "Topping from the Bottom" as incompatible with the standards of BDSM
relations.
Some BDSM practitioners "switch", meaning they play either or both roles, Top or Bottom, depending on the actual session's setting.
They may practice this within one specific session or take these different roles in different sessions with the same or different
partners. There are many reasons for this. Sometimes a switch lives in a relationship with a partner of the same primary preference
(for example, two Tops), so switching represents the only possibility of being able to fulfill all of his or her BDSM needs within
the relationship. Some people change roles without regarding themselves as Switches, since they do it only very irregularly or only
under certain circumstances.
Contrasting such "play relationships" are relationships in which everyday life is clearly framed by the concept of BDSM even outside
of sexual activities. The partners involved maintain in their daily life an appropriate balance of power and accordingly make aspects
of BDSM a consistent part of their lifestyle. Here, BDSM cannot be designated a merely sexual phenomenon. The term "24/7 relationship"
is derived from 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Another term for such behavior is "D/s", derived from "Dominant/submissive". The
dominant partner controls most aspects of the submissive's life. Particular areas of life such as work, family, or friends can be
excluded from the D/s relationship and not be placed under control of the dominant partner. Some D/s relationships, however, cover
all areas of life; such constellations are designated as a "Total Power Exchange" (TPE). In D/s, and especially in TPE relationships,
changes in the balance of power (so-called "Switching") do not take place. TPE relationships probably represent the least common
role behavior within the BDSM spectrum.