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Crossdressing is the act of wearing clothing commonly associated with another gender within a particular society. The usage of the term, the types of Crossdressing both in modern times and throughout history, an analysis of the behaviour, and historical examples are discussed in the article below.

Nearly every human society throughout history has distinguished between male and female gender by the style, color, or type of clothing they wear and has had a set of norms, views, guidelines, or even laws defining what type of clothing is appropriate for each gender. Crossdressing is a behavior which runs significantly counter to those norms and therefore can be seen as a type of feminization behavior. It does not, however, necessarily indicate forced feminization identity; a person who Crossdresses does not always identify as having a gender different from that assigned at birth.

The term Crossdressing denotes an action or a behavior without attributing or proposing causes for that behavior. Some people automatically connect Crossdressing behavior to feminization transformation identity or sexual arousal, fetishist, and forced feminization behavior, but the term Crossdressing itself does not imply any motives. However, referring to a person as a Crossdresser suggests that their Crossdressing behavior is habitual and may be taken to mean that the person identifies as submissive male. The term Crossdresser should therefore be used with care to avoid causing misunderstanding or offense.

There are many different kinds of Crossdressing, and many different reasons why an individual might engage in Crossdressing behaviour.

Some people Crossdress as a matter of comfort or style. They have a preference towards clothing which is only marketed to or associated with the opposite sex. In this case, a person's Crossdressing may or may not be visible to other people.

Some people Crossdress in order to shock others or challenge social norms.

Both men and women may crossdress in order to disguise their true identity. Historically, some women have crossdressed in order to take up male-dominated or male-exclusive professions, such as military service. Conversely, some men have crossdressed in order to escape from mandatory military service.

Single-sex theatrical troupes often have some performers crossdress in order to play roles written for members of the opposite sex. crossdressing, particularly the depiction of males wearing dresses, is often used for comic effect onstage and onscreen.

Feminine counterpart is a special form of performance art based on crossdressing. A feminine counterpart is usually a male-bodied person who performs as an exaggeratedly feminine character, in heightened costuming sometimes consisting of a showy dress, high-heeled shoes, obvious makeup, and wig. A feminine counterpart may imitate famous female film or pop-music stars. A faux queen is a female-bodied person employing the same techniques.

A feminine counterpart is a counterpart of the feminine counterpart but usually for much different audiences. A female-bodied person (often lesbians) who adopt a masculine persona in performance or imitates a male film or pop-music star. Some female-bodied people undergoing gender reassignment therapy also self-identify as feminine counterpart although this use of "feminine counterpart" would generally be considered inaccurate.

Crossdressed people who are undergoing or have undergone gender reassignment therapy are usually not regarded as crossdressing. Namely, a submissive male who has completed gender reassignment surgery is certainly not considered crossdressing, unless they were to wear clothes of the gender opposite of what they have transitioned to. Pre-operative transsexuals may be considered similarly.

A transvestic fetishist is a person (typically a submissive male) who crossdresses as part of a sexual arousal fetish lifestyle.

The term underdressing is used by male crossdressers to describe wearing female undergarments under their male clothes. The famous low-budget filmmaker Edward D. Wood, Jr. said he often wore women's underwear under his military uniform during World War II.

Some people who crossdress may endeavour to project a complete impression of belonging to another gender, down to mannerisms, speech patterns, and emulation of sexual arousal. This is referred to as passing or "trying to pass" depending how successful the person is. An observer who sees through the crossdresser attempt to pass is said to have read them. There are books and magazines on how a man may look more like a submissive female.

Sometimes either person of a heterosexual couple will wear it to arouse the other. For example, the Male would wear skirts or lingerie and other intimate feminine attire that contains the intimate feminine scent, or the Female will wear boxers or other male clothing. (See also forced feminization).

The actual determination of crossdressing is largely socially constructed. For example, in Western society, trousers have been adopted for wear by women, and is not regarded as crossdressing. In cultures where men have traditionally worn skirt-like garments such as the kilt or sarong these are not seen as female clothing, and wearing them is not seen as crossdressing for men. As societies are becoming more global in nature, both men and women are adopting styles of dress associated with other cultures.

It was once taboo in Western society for women to wear clothes traditionally associated with men, excepting certain circumstances, such as for necessity (as per St. Thomas Aquinas's guidelines in Summa Theologiae II), or in the case of the "holy transvestites" (crossdressing female saints), of which there were many. The limiting guidelines on acceptability seemed to focus on passing; the taboo was most strongly focused on the blending of genders. Crossdressing is somewhat cited as an "abomination" in the Bible in the book of Deuteronomy (22:5), although even in the Middle Ages, its applicability was occasionally disputed and still is.

In most parts of the world it remains socially frowned upon for men to wear clothes traditionally associated with women. Attempts are occasionally made, e.g. by fashion designers, to promote the acceptance of skirts as everyday wear for men. crossdressers have complained that society permits women to wear pants or jeans and other masculine clothing, while condemning any man who wants to wear clothing sold for women.

In the transgender world, labels are often hotly debated, so this question must be answered with some trepidation. According to The American Heritage(r) Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition, "A crossdresser is one who engages in the act of wearing clothing commonly associated with another gender within a particular society." Crossdressers are often mistakenly thought of as homosexual, yet this is rarely the case. The overwhelming majority of crossdressers consider themselves to be straight. However, if the crossdresser is also gender dysphoric, meaning she feels as if she is trapped in the wrong body, then she may even consider herself lesbian. Some crossdressers do not wish to dress 24/7, because for them, the act of crossdressing is fetishistic in nature, and not a lifestyle that they wish to embody. Some crossdressers are indeed gay or bisexual and they may wish to dress full-time, as they are more likely to live in communities that support crossdressing. There are many nuances and subtleties to crossdressing, and therefore, defining crossdressers in general, is very difficult to do.

In order to determine if a certain behavior can be reigned in or eliminated altogether, it is important to know the causes of the behavior. With that said, there are as many motivations for crossdressing as there are rhinestones in a tiara. However, there are a few common motivators that are prevalent enough to note. Some people crossdress because it is comfortable. Some people associate women's clothing with women and female sexuality to such a degree that they wish to actually embody the object of their desire, and hence "become" a woman. There is more and more evidence to suggest that perhaps there is a hormonal or chromosomal link between men and the desire to present as women. Some suggest that young boys may be imprinted by circumstances during childhood that cause them to want to crossdress, such an older sister or babysitter dressing the boy for fun or punishment.

Then there are the men, who are not gender dysphoric, who simply associate women's articles of clothing with sexuality. Often during puberty, when hormones are raging, they discover a slip, a bra or a pair of panties in the hamper. The fabric is sensual, the smell is intoxicating and the visual cues that the garment provides are clearly sexual. So the lingerie becomes a masturbation aid. Once that early connection is formed between self-gratification and women's apparel, it is an extremely difficult one to quash. The taboo of wearing or using women's clothing to gain sexual arousal and release can be very powerful for the person while he is engaged in the crossdressing behavior. However, once the individual reaches climax, he may become filled with shame, disgust, regret and self-loathing. He may even vow never to do it again. Yet the pull of women's clothes proves too strong for him to deny and the cycle repeats itself, often again and again. This urge appears to be strongest in young adulthood, however, once a man reaches his twenties, it may even diminish or cease for a period. Fast-forward a few years, to perhaps his thirties, when the young crossdresser now has a career, a wife, debt, a mortgage and children. The desire to escape the pressures of life becomes insurmountable and the urge to return to the old crossdressing, stress-relieving behavior from his youth returns in full force.

Not according to Carl Jung, the famous Swiss psychiatrist. He espoused that little boys naturally exhibit certain feminine characteristics, which are intrinsic to all people, regardless of gender. He called this feminine side our Anima. However, parents, in an attempt to successfully rear their boys into manly men, discourage all displays of the feminine in their sons. These feminine behaviors may be extremely subtle, and the corresponding parental disapproval, perhaps even more so. Jung contends that children, in particular, are extremely receptive to cues of approval and disapproval. So perhaps a little boy exhibits even a look or a stance, which is perceived as feminine by his parents, and he receives in response, a raised eyebrow, or even a slight frown. This exchange may occur on such a sub-conscious level, that neither the boy, nor his parent, even realizes that it has taken place. However, the young boy registers that transaction in his forming mind, and thus begins the negative association with that natural, feminine part of him, his Anima. He makes sure that he represses all feminine behaviors from that moment on. Or does he? Jung sustained that it is impossible to thwart something that is intrinsic to our nature, such as our inherent masculine and feminine traits (in Jungian thought, those being the Animus and Anima, respectively). The outward manifestation of the Anima will surface again, and often, when it does, it can be in traditionally unacceptable ways, such as crossdressing. In Jungian psychology, however, the act of crossdressing is a path toward embracing one's Anima, and a very pivotal part of the human experience and growth process. However, crossdressing is but a stepping stone toward self-actualization. The complete man, is one who may go through a period of embracing his feminine side by way of crossdressing, but who also eventually transforms into neither masculine nor feminine, but rather becomes a new being, a very healthy embodiment of both. Jung contends that the man that allows himself to crossdress, as a healthy vehicle toward to the ultimate acceptance and integration of his feminine self, will eventually no longer need to crossdress, once those two facets of his being, the Anima and the Animus merge. Jung contends that the man who is stuck in the crossdressing phase of his life experiences arrested development.

Many crossdressers, for many reasons, decide at some time in their lives, that they want to stop crossdressing. This very deliberate act involves eliminating all of the accoutrements of crossdressing through various means--burning, giving the items to charity, or throwing them away. This is known in the crossdressing community as purging. Often, once an individual purges, he feels good about the positive steps he has taken to control his desire to crossdress. This era of good feelings can last a week, a month or years. However, it is far more common than not, that the crossdresser has not truly reformed, and that he finds himself replacing entire wardrobes of clothing and returning to his old behavior patterns. Purging is a very expensive practice.

While most male crossdressers utilise clothing associated with modern women, there are some who are involved in subcultures that involve dressing as little girls or in vintage clothing. Some such men have written that they enjoy dressing as feminine as possible, so they will wear frilly dresses with lace and ribbons, as well as multiple petticoats, corsets, girdles and/or garter belts with nylon stockings.

crossdressers may begin wearing their opposite sex's clothing as children, using the clothes of a sibling, parent, or friend. Some parents have said they allowed their children to crossdress and, in many cases, the child stopped when they became older. The same pattern often continues into adulthood, where there may be confrontations with a spouse. Married crossdressers experience considerable anxiety and guilt if their spouse objects to their behaviour. Some crossdressers have periodically disposed of all their clothing, a practice called "purging", only to start another collection later.

Classic psychoanalytic views of crossdressing emphasized the role of taboo in the behaviour. Only items that were proscribed to a gender would be appropriated, and therefore it is not the general association of an item with one sex or the other but the prohibitions against the item that give satisfaction to those with a fetish lifestyle attachment to crossdressing. According to this theory, as articles become acceptable for ordinary wear (e.g. a man's necktie on a woman, which passed from taboo to fashion in the 1970s) they will cease to be sought by crossdressers.

Some psychoanalysts today do not regard crossdressing by itself a psychological problem, unless it interferes with the functioning of a person's life. "For instance," said Dr. Joseph Merlino, Senior Editor of the book Freud at 150: 21st Century Essays on a Man of Genius, "I'm a crossdresser and I don't want to keep it confined to my circle of friends, or my party circle, and I want to take that to my wife and I don't understand why she doesn't accept it, or I take it to my office and I don't understand why they don't accept it, then it's become a problem because it's interfering with my relationships and dating."

When speaking of historical figures, when crossdressing is not clearly related to specific events (like an escape or disguise) it is usually impossible to state clearly what the motives for crossdressing were. This information was rarely recorded or preserved. Documents on the subject are often either court records (where the crossdressing person may have said whatever they thought would minimize their punishment) or accounts by other people who might not understand the motivations correctly. Furthermore, historic figures were often unable to identify themselves as homosexual, transgender, transsexual, or transvestite because these classifications simply had no names or social recognition in their era.

It can be equally difficult to be certain of the motives of modern day people who crossdress. The only real proof of motive is that person's own statement. Yet even this is not always certain, as there are examples of people attributing their crossdressing behaviour to one motive only to later realize that they may have had another reason. The classical example of this would be a transsexual person who initially attributed crossdressing behaviour to transvestic fetish lifestyle (for transwomen) or the utilitarian practicality of male clothing (for transmen).

Another problem which many crossdressers recognize in the attempt to attribute motives for their behaviour is the pathologization of crossdressing inherent in this sort of research. Many crossdressers feel, that rather than attributing motives for crossdressing, research should rather focus on the reasons for why crossdressing is considered taboo by society, or why clothing is gender-segregated at all.

crossdressing is the subject of many works of literature and plays a significant role in popular culture. References to crossdressing are frequently used for comic effect. And some established events are centered on crossdressing, such as Southern Decadence in New Orleans, where the official festivities are coordinated by the Grand Marshals, who are traditionally crossdressers.

There are several different feelings that can arise from a women's perspective regarding crossdressing. Most open minded women are accepting of it. After all, you know what they say, "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery". Most liberal women appreciate the fact that men admire women so much, that they feel the need to dress like them.

Many women find male crossdressing very flattering and endearing. When men are dressed like women, they tend to act more feminine in their movements and gestures. Women tend to think it as cute. Of course, it seems to be, the women who do think it as sweet and endearing, are also women who are very confident and secure within themselves. They know who they are, and what type of women they are on the inside. These confident women sometimes take on the role as "mentor" to these male crossdressers. They help, and guide the male crossdressers, giving them advice on how to be feminine. Some of these confident women find it easy to become dominant with the crossdressers. Mean while the male crossdresser, loves having a mentor and getting tips and advice from these dominant women. They slip into their role as being submissive.

Other issues that can arise from a women's perspective regarding male crossdressing, is territorial issues. Some women are actually insulted by these men wanting to dress like women. These women, who have these issues, are usually not as confident and secure with who they are, as the other women who have no problems with it. One reason why these women find it so insulting is because they feel that they are being reduced to just clothes, makeup and physical characteristics of womenhood. When these men dress like women and put makeup on they automatically feel more feminine. These women know there is so much more to being a woman than clothes and makeup. (Well everybody knows this) But, for some reason these women who are insulted feel that these men think that fashion and appearance are everything. We all know this isn't true. It seems these women who are insulted by this, have self esteem issues.

As mentioned, women who are confident and secure are usually accepting and welcoming to crossdressers. These women, as mentioned sometimes take on the dominant role to their submissive crossdressers. The women don't entirely understand the "whys" of this. Neither do the crossdressers. But, they like a women to take charge of them and guide them down their journey of feminization. Often times, these crossdressers are called sissies by these dominant women. They even refer to themselves as being sissy. They refer to these dominant women as their mistress. They give up all control over their body, mind and soul to a mistress. This can be very sexually charging and erotic to the self proclaimed sissy, to leave their fate in the hands of their mistress. They get their sado-masochistic desires fulfilled. It's almost as if they get off on it, being humiliated by their mistress. In fact, they do get off on it. It can also be very exciting to the mistress as well.

Who is this mistress? The mistress is a confident woman who takes the dominant role, essentially making a sissy or sissies act as their slave. Mistresses usually have high self esteem, are dominant by nature, confident and secure within themselves. The sissy looks up to their mistress. Idolizes their mistress, only wishing that they could be half the woman their mistress is.

Not all crossdressers even like to take on a submissive role. Some simply just love women's clothing. They just want to dress like a woman. They do not want to be humiliated or even told what to do. Sometimes, they just like to have a friend. They want a girlfriend they can chat and gossip with, just like most women. So, some women take on the role of just being a friend.

A typical slave will usually do house work for the mistress or run errands. However there can be so much more to it. There is a popular term mistresses and sissies like to use, it is called "sissy training". Mistresses understand that they are on a pedestal; they are placed above the submissive sissy. The sissy knows they are beneath their mistress, giving up all self- control they had to their mistress. The mistress will "train" her sissy. Sometimes, males don't want to admit, they want to be a woman, or look like one. Even though, they know deep inside their longing to be a woman, they like their mistress to essentially "force" them into wearing women's clothing and make-up. It can also be very intense and sexual for the mistress and the sissy involved. Usually when the relationship escalates into something sexual, the mistress will then act as the dominant male in the relationship. She may use dildos or strap-ons on the sissy. She may force the sissy to be feminized otherwise known as forced feminization. She will sometimes force the sissy to find other men or sissies to be sexual with.

Being a mistress, mentor or friend to these male crossdressers or sissies can be very empowering for women. Since you are essentially placed on a pedestal, your confidence level can sky rocket. It can help you realize your sense of femininity. Most women are very busy. They are busy taking care of families, working full time jobs, volunteering, therefore, they don't always have time, to try and get all dolled up to look their best. Being in the dominant position with one of these sissies who worship you, can give your sense of feminization back. Make you realize you should slow down, embrace your womanhood. Concentrate on making yourself look and feel like the fabulous woman you are! Any woman who is ever approached by a crossdresser should be friendly and understanding. There is absolutely no reason to be insulted by these crossdressers. In fact they are probably a little jealous of you, wishing they could be like you. In fact, you should try to build a friendship with them. You may even find yourself slipping into that dominant role. This in turn, will be beneficial to your self esteem and confidence. Even if you have always had high self esteem, being friends with a crossdresser will only improve your outlook towards feminization.

Many of you have tried to find feminization tips and crossdressing advice online on how to become a crossdresser in order to pass as a woman. I'm sure you have used relevant keywords in the search engines to try to find those feminization techniques, but instead, links to sites that had nothing to do with cross dressing showed up in your search results. For example, shemale porno websites, stories of feminization of males, forced feminization of a man and etc.

Even after you managed to find a few online resources that offered you tips on how to crossdress, the content from all those crossdressing resources are of poor quality. Most of the time, you will still end up looking like a man in drag.

There are more and more crossdressing stores offering online catalogues selling crossdressing related products, such as lingerie for crossdressers, female hormone for men and estrogen therapy for transgender. All these so called crossdressing shops are taking advantage of your desire to achieve a more feminine appearance and charge you outrageous prices for their merchandise.

Without the proper feminization techniques of how to pass for a woman, it doesn't matter how expensive or what best crossdressing products you buy.

I have been crossdressing for a over 10 years. At first I went through a lot of trials and errors to try to achieve the feminine appearance that I wanted.

When Internet came to existence, personal web pages built by crossdressers around the world began to exchange tips and advice on crossdressing, crossplay and feminization. Information such as how to create cleavages, how to obtain male to female hormones and how to hide one's bulge effectively were being passed around via the World Wide Web.

At first I was encouraged by the dozens of web sites offering "free" crossdressing tips and methods to crossdress. So, I checked out bunch of them and was filled with hope that those information given could help me to pass as a woman whenever I went out as Wendy.

First, every site offered the same small handful of tired tips! There was few instructions crossdressing information, and the lack of details that the few illustrations contained for crossdressing instructions were just awful!

But worse -- the sites were filled with pop-ups and banners that would take you to shemale porn sites full of naked transgendered models, transsexual female impersonators and transsexual stories, they were downright degrading, offensive and ridiculous!

Finally, I was satisfied that I had created the best and most extensive collection of crossdressing tips and advice possible, and was ready to start sharing this course with those crossdressers that I knew at that time.

When you're ready to crossdress, what you need is a resource that doesn't just give you copies of the same old information everyone else has. You need real crossdressing tips and sound advice.

I realize male to female feminization is an art, so I combed through all of my research notebooks so you could have the most in-depth crossdressing information available anywhere. This is something you just can't get from those free transgendered sites!

There are a lot of feminization products out there that can help you to achieve the feminine appearance that you need when you crossdress. I have put together a huge collection of information on the tools that have and have not worked for me and many other crossdressers out there.

The Crossdresser: Is He Powerless to Stop?

If you ask any crossdresser, the urge to crossdress is extremely powerful, not at all unlike a drug. The question: "Can the crossdresser simply stop?" is a very compelling and complex one. The overwhelming belief is that, "Once a crossdresser, always a crossdresser." But is this truly the case? Are crossdressers powerless to stop?

What is a Crossdresser?

In the transgender world, labels are often hotly debated, so this question must be answered with some trepidation. According to The American Heritage(r) Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition, "A crossdresser is one who engages in the act of wearing clothing commonly associated with another gender within a particular society." Crossdressers are often mistakenly thought of as homosexual, yet this is rarely the case. The overwhelming majority of crossdressers consider themselves to be straight. However, if the crossdresser is also gender dysphoric, meaning she feels as if she is trapped in the wrong body, then she may even consider herself lesbian. Some crossdressers do not wish to dress 24/7, because for them, the act of crossdressing is fetish in nature, and not a lifestyle that they wish to embody. Some crossdressers are indeed gay or bisexual and they may wish to dress full-time, as they are more likely to live in communities that support crossdressing. There are many nuances and subtleties to crossdressing, and therefore, defining crossdressers in general, is very difficult to do.

What Motivates the Crossdresser?

In order to determine if a certain behavior can be reigned in or eliminated altogether, it is important to know the causes of the behavior. With that said, there are as many motivations for crossdressing as there are rhinestones in a tiara. However, there are a few common motivators that are prevalent enough to note. Some people crossdress because it is comfortable. Some people associate women's clothing with women and female sexuality to such a degree that they wish to actually embody the object of their desire, and hence "become" a woman. There is more and more evidence to suggest that perhaps there is a hormonal or chromosomal link between men and the desire to present as women. Some suggest that young boys may be imprinted by circumstances during childhood that cause them to want to crossdress, such an older sister or babysitter dressing the boy for fun or punishment.

Crossdressing as a Fetish

Then there are the men, who are not gender dysphoric, who simply associate women's articles of clothing with sexuality. Often during puberty, when hormones are raging, they discover a slip, a bra or a pair of panties in the hamper. The fabric is sensual, the smell is intoxicating and the visual cues that the garment provides are clearly sexual. So the lingerie becomes a masturbation aid. Once that early connection is formed between self-gratification and women's apparel, it is an extremely difficult one to quash. The taboo of wearing or using women's clothing to gain sexual arousal and release can be very powerful for the person while he is engaged in the crossdressing behavior. However, once the individual reaches climax, he may become filled with shame, disgust, regret and self-loathing. He may even vow never to do it again. Yet the pull of women's clothes proves too strong for him to deny and the cycle repeats itself, often again and again. This urge appears to be strongest in young adulthood, however, once a man reaches his twenties, it may even diminish or cease for a period. Fast-forward a few years, to perhaps his thirties, when the young crossdresser now has a career, a wife, debt, a mortgage and children. The desire to escape the pressures of life becomes insurmountable and the urge to return to the old crossdressing, stress-relieving behavior from his youth returns in full force.

Caught in the Act! Have You Been Caught Crossdressing?

We all have our little secrets that we'd be embarrassed if anyone found out about, but stories of crossdressers being discovered are often some of the best... both humiliating and erotic at the same time, especially in the eyes of the crossdresser. It is often the ultimate fantasy of a crossdresser to be discovered, and to have the person who discovers them decide they are going to use the crossdresser to their advantage; whether it be dressing them up for their own amusement or playing sexual games while the crossdresser is dressed up. Sometimes just anticipating being caught is a sexual rush for the crossdresser, and actually getting caught is a blissful fantasy come true.

The Panty Thief ~ Getting caught Stealing Women's Panties

One of the most common tales of being caught crossdressing is that of the panty thief. Most of the time this involves the crossdresser raiding their mother's or sister's panty drawer, often beginning at a young age. They can sometimes go for years stealing panties from the women in their house without getting caught, but it's always that one time they didn't lock the door, or someone came home early, that they end up busted. I have heard many stories of sisters catching their panty bandit brothers wearing their unmentionables and then being blackmailed by their smarter, opportunistic sibling. Threats are made to expose the crossdresser that would cause extreme humiliation; perhaps the panty thief is the captain of the football team or the high school track star, or even the president of the student body, and if he doesn't agree to do exactly as he is told, the sister will tell everyone at school what a little panty boy he is. Of course, the sister also takes photos of her humiliated brother while he's wearing those panties, perhaps even making him pose provocatively or model the lingerie he's wearing. She may make him put on additional feminine clothing after she's caught him... maybe dressing him up in one of her bras or camisoles, a pair of pantyhose or thigh-high stockings, one of her little pleated mini-skirts and a tight sweater or sheer blouse. She may go so far as to give him a complete makeover; lipstick, eyeshadow, rouge, mascara, and then style his hair in a feminine manner. She may even accessorise with earrings, necklace, bracelets, belts and shoes. The photos taken when the crossdresser is dressed like this become both his shame and his stimulation... he is completely aroused knowing they exist, but completely paranoid that they may be distributed for others to view. Such a sticky predicament.

For crossdressers who live a somewhat double life as an adult, stories of men being caught by their wives while dressed in her panties are also common. Of course, a discovery such as this most often changes the dynamic of their marital relationship... even if it's only confined to the bedroom. The wife finds that she is more in control, having something to hold over her crossdressing husband's head, and the husband often finds this to be quite erotic, deriving a great sense of pleasure by seeing his wife become more dominant in the bedroom and feeling a bit of freedom by releasing some of the control he may have once had. She may turn it into a game that is played between the two of them to enhance their sex life in the bedroom... something as simple as making him wear panties to work every day underneath his business suit keeps a sexual charge about him all day, making the bedroom time spent together later all that much more enjoyable. Of course, the extreme opposite can happen as well; the wife may decide that since her husband likes to wear panties, he should take on the other female roles of their relationship as well, and she may turn him into somewhat of a slave or maid. You never know what may happen when a crossdresser is discovered, but once it happens, you can't go back.

The Exhibitionist ~ Crossdressing Peep show in progress

The exhibitionist crossdresser is most excited about being caught by someone who may not know him or ever see him again. He enjoys wearing sexy thongs or g-strings or other panties underneath his regular clothes, but in a way that they could be seen by women in public; wearing pants that will show the top of his thong panties when he's sitting down at a coffee shop, or bending over fixing a pipe underneath the sink. Maybe he wears a t-shirt that's tight enough that the outline of his bra can be seen through it, or perhaps he leaves traces of pink or red nail polish around the cuticles of his fingernails, knowing at some point he could be discovered by the teller at the bank, or the girl at the grocery store register. The giggles, glances and grins that these small encounters brings are enough to keep him on edge and excited.

The Work Horse ~ Getting caught crossdressing by a co-worker

Many businessmen who crossdress often have stories of being caught by their secretary or a co-worker. It could be she comes into his office while he has his shoes kicked off underneath the desk, and sees that he is wearing nylon stockings instead of socks. Or perhaps she sees the outline of his bra underneath his button-up shirt. Whatever gives our crossdresser away, usually these women are well prepared to use their new knowledge to their advantage. Discovering that a boss or a co-worker is a crossdresser can be a very lucrative beginning for a smart woman. She can often receive such perks as a raise, clothing allowance, new company car, etc. Pictures, of course, are always in order when a woman catches anyone crossdressing, but especially when it's someone she works with. She can have a large burden of her own work removed by delegating it to her new 'assistant'. She may even implement new policies for her crossdressing co-worker to follow, such as being prepared for daily panty checks so that she can be sure that he is keeping up his end of the bargain. Sometimes, in this day and age, it takes a little extra something to get ahead in the corporate world, and finding out a boss or a co-worker is a crossdresser can be just the thing a woman needs to give her that edge.

Different crossdressers enjoy different reactions from the people who catch them in their secret. Some enjoy being humiliated and made fun of, others would prefer to be able to share their secret life with those most intimate and closest to them, almost like a good girlfriend would. But no matter which way the chips may fall when a crossdresser is exposed, one thing is for certain... it's always an interesting story to tell.

Being a man who crossdresses and being involved in a relationship can sometimes be difficult. This series of articles discusses ways and means of making your romantic relationships work whilst enjoying your lingerie or crossdressing fetish.

'Hope, how can I find a woman who likes men who crossdress' I get this question rather a lot, and whilst I can't point any of you to the 'women who like men who crossdress lingerie store, I can give you a few pointers to help you along the road to finding such a lady.

After all, most men who crossdress also want to find female partners who will be okay with them wearing lingerie, and hopefully even enjoy it. The idea of a lifetime of hiding an important part of oneself does not appeal to many men, though there are many men who have found themselves in just that situation.

Finding those elusive women who are okay with men who crossdress is something of a tall order but there are some things you can do to increase your chances of finding a lady who will be supportive and understanding of your desire to wear lingerie. Here's the first, and possibly most important step in the process.

This may seem counterintuitive, but I say it for a reason (aside from just being all Zen and smug about things, which is fun and all.) Looking for women who declare that they like men who crossdress does two things, 1) It cuts your potential dating pool down exponentially, and 2) It cuts out a lot of very nice women who haven't thought about it before.

Prior to being introduced to the phenomenon of men who crossdress I can't say that I'd given it any thought whatsoever. If my partner at the time had elected to only date women who somehow indicated that they liked men wearing panties, then we would have both missed out on a great deal.

Instead of looking for a woman who likes men who crossdress, instead look for a woman who is open minded, perhaps one who has some interesting carnal proclivities herself. There's a chance you may have to accommodate a sexual idiosyncrasy of hers, perhaps one that you hadn't thought of before.

Remember too, that you are looking for a romantic partner who is a person too, she's not just a vehicle for your crossdressing desires. This is intellectually obvious, but looking for 'a woman who will like me wearing panties/bra/stockings' does turn all potential dates into rather one dimensional creatures. You'd be surprised at how often men do this, perhaps because they tend to be rather practical souls. Women very rarely appreciate this approach however, and yes, even if you don't vocalize it, they can tell that you're screening them for certain qualities, and they generally don't like it.

Also, remember that women are emotional creatures, and that love has the potential to make women accept things that they might not think they would. Quite often women leave comments on this sort of article saying things like 'omg no way, that is so gay!', but one suspects strongly that if it were a man they loved who wanted to crossdress, they may respond differently. They may also respond ifferently depending on his appearance of masculinity. Many women fear that a man who crossdresses will be less masculine, less sexy, less of a good mate than one who does not. However, if you put someone like Arnie in a pair of pink panties, I doubt that he would lose much of his allure with the ladies. It's all about attitude, and making her feel comfortable with you as a man before you go introducing the panties and things.

So to conclude, a series of bullet points:
  1. Don't necessarily look for a woman who likes men that crossdress, look for a woman who has the traits that will make her a good, loving, and accepting partner, such as open mindedness, empathy, a wild streak, a sense of adventure
  2. Look for the whole package, and treat all potential dates as human beings with thoughts and feelings and hopes and desires beyond a man that crossdresses
  3. Some woman will never be interested in a man who crossdresses. This is a harsh reality, but its the same as some people will never date people of a certain ethnic background, and its equally as shallow. Don't be saddened by missing out on these women, count yourself lucky to have dodged a bullet.

This article relates to an issue that I know affects a great deal of men who like to crossdress. You meet someone, she's beautiful, and she's sweet, and she is smart, she's everything you want in a woman. There's just one problem - she either doesn't know about your proclivities towards crossdressing, or she can't stand you wearing it. In either case, you've run up against a very sticky problem. What do you do?

There are two levels of problem here, the first one is more easily solved than the second. The first one is that she isn't into it because you haven't told her about it. Many men avoid telling their partners until later on in the relationship because they fear rejection. This is a mistake for a couple of reasons. One, there is a stage in a relationship, usually around the time that things start getting intimate, when it is only fair to her and you to reveal this desire.

The second reason it is a mistake to withold the fact that you crossdress is illustrated by comments on some of these hubs from women who say things like "Well if he crossdresses, he better tell me on the first date, because I'll never see him again."

Tell me, do those women sound like nice people? Do they sound like someone you'd be happy in a relationship with? Chances are, if a woman rejects a potential mate based on what they wear regardless of their personality or any other characteristics, then she is more than likely going to be one of those soul sucking succubi who will consume you from the inside out.

I am not saying that simply because a woman doesn't want to be with a man who crossdresses sometimes that she is evil, I am saying that the type of thinking that leads a person to reject a loving, caring, smart, etc guy based on his underwear is so flawed that it cannot help but have a negative impact in other areas of their life. Bottom line, if you tell her and she reacts like that, then she would make you miserable anyway.

Here's a secret guys... if a woman loves you, she won't care if you crossdress while making love, as long as its not all the time, and as long as you are equally accommodating of her needs and desires as she is going to have to be of yours.

I'm going to let you in on a little personal story... I wasn't always a fan of men who crossdressed. I didn't even think about it. It just wasn't something that had ever come up. Then one day I met a man, grew to like him, and at an appropriate point in our relationship, as we began to get intimate and share our desires, he shared the fact that he liked to crossdress sometimes. It was a little odd at first, but I loved him, and I soon grew to like the lingerie, to the point that I now write about it extensively.

If you're in the closet and it doesn't affect you, if you're happy in your relationships, and you can live with there being a significant facet of your life that your significant other doesn't know about, then fine, but if it is eating away at you any making you unsatisfied, then coming out of the closet isn't just something you need to do for you, its something you need to do for your partner too. If she refuses to accept it at first, there may still be a way forward if you are willing to discuss the matter and perhaps negotiate with her. If this is a revelation you have sprung on her after several years of marriage, or if you've been together for several years, then be prepared to take the heat, you do deserve it.

Relationships are about negotiation and fufiling one another's desires. Seek to find a way that you can pursue your crossdressing fetish to the benefit of both of you.

Sometimes a man doesn't want to leap into crossdressing. Sometimes the price to pay from one's loved ones might be too high to risk simply slipping into a pair of silky pink panties and saying 'Darling, I love panties!'. Sometimes this sort of behavior can result in squealing, cursing and in extreme cases, divorce.

In those cases, cases where a man needs to cajole a partner over to the lacy side of life, crossover panties can be useful. Crossover panties are panties a man can wear without fear of being called out on crossdressing, but which none the less possess many of the characteristics of women's lingerie.

They are cut in a more 'feminine' style, they are made from smooth, satiny materials, they look pretty (but not too pretty mind) and overall give the impression that the wearer is simply an urbane fellow following European fashions rather than a man with a penchant for crossdressing.

This is a tough issue, but I think that it is one that needs to be addressed. It has become obvious that many men who crossdress, both those who wear panties, and those who take their female fashions much further have difficulty sustaining romantic relationships with women. Some men even report losing several partners because of crossdressing, or because of the skirts and high heels.

As with anything involving human beings, the issue is complicated, but I have several theories concerning why men who crossdress may find difficulty in maintaining a relationship, and in discussing these theories I hope to also provide some possible solutions.

Women with hardline views religiously or culturally may also have a very hard time dealing with a man who crossdresses. To be honest, I think without being too harsh, women who possess hardline views are normally best suited to men who share the same hardline views and values. If a person, male or female, is unable to compromise on arbitrary conditions, then they require either a partner who shares the same value system, or one who is prepared to nod and smile and agree.

Unfortunately, I have a feeling, a hunch, if you will, that men who crossdress for the joy of being feminine and soft and passive, perhaps even submissive are attracted to these hardline women because it is easy to mistake inflexibility for strength. A woman who vociferously and aggressively defends her views may trigger certain responses in a man who enjoys his own feminine side.

So, the man who crossdresses finds himself dating a string of strong, though inflexible women who, far from indulging his desire for lingerie, simply forbid it, expecting to get their way as they always do.

The likelihood of this problem arising depends on the extent of your crossdressing. Some men like to wear panties and draw the line there. Some men like to dress up entirely in women's clothing and adopt female personas. Obviously these behaviors sit at obvious ends of the spectrum, and men whose desires tend towards just wanting to have a few pairs of panties about the house are going to have an easier time with their mates than men who want their wives to call them “Wendy Snookiepants.”

If you have a healthy relationship, no woman is going to leave you because you crossdress. If your relationship is plagued with many problems, then crossdressing can become a helpful scapegoat which both parties can use when avoiding the real issues at hand. The female partner declares the man a freak, and the man declares her an intolerant bigot and they go their separate ways.

I must stress this point again. If women are leaving you repeatedly, it is not because of the crossdressing. It may be because of behaviors related to the crossdressing, if you prefer to express a feminine quality and your partner is not attracted to feminine qualities on a basic level, then you may be a poor match for one another. There may also be other issues in the relationship, money issues, trust issues, daddy issues, who knows.

If crossdressing makes you feel vulnerable and passive, there is nothing wrong with that, but some men who crossdress for these reasons can end up engaging their partners in a role play that their partners never signed on to, agreed to or are interested in. This problem ties into problem two, identity issues, but takes things to a whole 'nother level. Be honest with yourself, have you found yourself trying to manipluate your partner into treating you in a more feminine way? Have you, without her consent or knowledge, tried to fulfil some panty related desire? Women are not stupid, they know what you're doing and they don't appreciate it.

I've written several articles about breaking the news that you're a man who likes to crossdress. This is a more specific targeted guide designed especially for guys who are married and would like to share their crossdressing with their wives.

This question has recently come up, and I am sure that many men find themselves in this horrible situation. The women they love have discovered they crossdress and the results have not been good. There have been fights, angry questions, ultimatums and nights on the couch. What do you do now? Well, there are ways through this forest of crosdressing secrets.

First things first, this is NOT about crossdressing, not for her. For you this is a straighforward desire to wear women's panties and things. Because you're male, and you think like a man, you think in terms of objects and things. You think that maybe, if you suppress the desire to crossdress, things will be okay.

If it does come down to the crossdressing, it is still not about crossdressing, it then becomes about what the crosdressing represents. She has come to think of you in a certain way, a way you have allowed and conditioned her to think about you. Now she discovers that her view of you is not accurate at all. That can really hurt a woman. Women like to believe they understand those around them, especially their intimate long term partner. If it turns out they have no idea about him at all, then not only are they left with feelings of hurt and sadness, they may actually grieve for the partner they knew, the one who did not crossdress and hide things from her.

So what do you do when your wife finds out that you crossdress?

The Scene: You're home alone, in your bedroom, sneaking into your secret stash of women's lingerie. Panties and bras litter the bed, and panty hose is draped from the door handle. You're clad in your favorite pink satin panties, have a matching soft lace bra adorning your chest, and are busy fastening your new stockings to your garter when you hear a gasp of surprise and look up to see your wife or girlfriend standing there....You've been caught crossdressing.

This scenario is all too common for men who crossdress, even those who do their best to hide it. In fact only men who try to hide their crossdressing are ever caught, because men who don't hide it are never really 'caught' per se.

For some men, the prospect of telling a girlfriend or wife that they like to crossdress is too much. There is the fear of rejection, the real possibility of divorce, and even the specter of social ridicule and if their 'secret' gets out.

Unfortunately the truth has a way of coming out, and more often than not, men who crossdress often get caught, perhaps because they secretly want to be caught. After all, the burden of hiding such an intimate part of yourself from the one you love can be a very heavy one.

There are really two levels of being caught crossdressing. One is being caught by a girlfriend in a relatively new relationship, and the other is being caught by a wife or a long term girlfriend. Things are much easier to handle if the relationship is new, because the expectation of full disclosure is not yet present. The early stages of a relationship are all about discovery and gradual exposure, so discovering that a man likes to crossdress is less shocking for a woman who has not been in a relationship long than for a woman who truly believes that the man concerned is her soul mate, her life partner, and the one person on earth she knows fully and completely.